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METROPOLIS

Good evening, intrepid and intermittent METROPOLIS readers. Dwelling as we do in this metropolitan den of iniquity, I hope my fellow New Yorkers can find it in their constitutions to suffer another shuffle of a weekday. After all, devil music is surely a step in the wrong direction. Fear not! Assuming your moral compasses are as degraded as mine has become, take this 5-song playlist as a not-quite-as-good substitution for a spiritual awakening, a chocolate bar, or a long summer car ride with the windows down (that is, whatever your heart most deeply desires). If I knew a better way to guide you I would--in the absence of enlightenment, an ignorant iTunes mix will have to do. Ever in the face of adversity we must soldier on, and to that effect I reward your persistence with yet another lazy shuffle, equally lazily-introduced.

1. The Drying of the Lawns- Tallest Man on Earth
2. All My Friends- LCD Soundsystem
3. Whispers-Tsars
4. I'll Be Your Mirror- Velvet Underground
5. If Ever I Stray- Frank Turner

Hey kids! Back from the grave and better than ever, METROPOLIS mini-revival at your service. Hold on to your headphones for a Thursday shuffle that will blow your minds, and not just because it's the first post in months. That's right, treat your last Thursday of vacation to some Saturday style. Let's call it fitting: one short week from today, Thursday night'll give you the semester's first taste of weekend freedom (from the higher education that is also freeing your wallet from the constraints of cash). Break monotony's overrated, or that's what we're telling ourselves. But enough banter! Back to my failure to get a jump on next term's reading and your enjoyment of this bangin' playlist, brought to you by iTunes®  and laziness. 

1.  Ain't No Rest for the Wicked- Cage the Elephant
2. My Own Worst Enemy- Lit
3. Valerie Plame- Decemberists
4. The A-Team- Ed Sheeran
5. I Remember- Devendra Banhart 

INSTIGATORS: St. Trinian's; St. Trinian's II: The Legend of Fritton's Gold; Wild Child; Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging
SYMPTOMS: striped ties, pleated skirts, field hockey sticks, and attempts at mischievous pranking
DIAGNOSIS: British boarding brat disorder
DESIGNATED NAME: Josephine "Josie" Jones
SOUNDTRACK TO THE MADNESS: "St. Trinian's Theme"-Girls Aloud, "One Girl Revolution"-Superchick, "Oh My God"-Ida Maria, "What I Like About You"-Lillix, "I'm Not Your Toy"-La Roux, "That's Not My Name"-The Ting Tings, "Knock Em' Out"-Lily Allen



All boarding school films capitalize on a type of societal perversion. Humankind loves seeing supposed innocents misbehave. For the same reason angel and nurse costumes continue to be a hit year after year, we enjoy watching these supposedly straight-laced youths corrupt themselves. There is, however, a few definitive differences between the period and the modern boarding school film. The appeal of the 1950s boarding school film is generated by its superhero factor: Chaucer and Latin verb conjugation by day and barefoot revelries and illicit rendezvouses by night. Today's boarding school films don't bother a pretense of studiousness or virtue, they operate purely on the blatant misconduct of those who we know should be purer. It is their snappy insolence and mischievous pranking that generates the allure.

Heidi, a runaway teenager as portrayed by Abbie Cornish, certainly is not your typical style icon. Yet, I feel I have learned from her in the same way I have from Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly although the ways in which she is able to teach us differ greatly. Heidi possesses the kindness and innocence of a Disney princess and, simultaneously, an extremely powerful sexuality with which she has not yet quite come to terms. This gets her in trouble when she kisses her mother’s boyfriend, resulting in her self-imposed exile from the house. She heads to a mountain town and finds work in a local gas station and company in the local bar. At one point, upon being questioned about why she continues to bring strange men home, she answers simply that she does not want to be alone. Thus, a strange conflict in conduct is presented, childish impulses serving as the impetus for adult behavior.

25 December 2010 (Christmas!)
INSTIGATORS: Mona Lisa Smile, School Ties, Dead Poet's Society, The Emperor's Club
SYMPTOMS: sinful quantities of red lipstick, vintage cardigans, hair ribbons, records, and attempts at coy fliratation
DIAGNOSIS: Retro schoolgirl fervor
Designated Name: Ms. Joan Brandon
SOUNDTRACK TO THE MADNESS: "Smokey Joe's Cafe"-The Coasters, "The Twist"-Hank Ballard, "Little Bitty Pretty One"-Thurston Harris and The Sharps, "Yakety Yak"-The Coasters, "Rockin' Robin"-Jackson 5


I have always been a sucker for the classic, fifties-era boarding school/college film. There is something immensely appealing about the pure wholesomeness and the good ol'fashioned values that go along with the land of rigid academia. I will admit however that the majority of the appeal does not seem to be generated by the few cursory minutes the students spend packed into the chapel for initiation or the few shots of them pouring over musty old schoolbooks. Rather, it is the hours full of close-ups of the gamine girls and roguish boys racing off with rosy cheeks, loosened ties, and bouncing curls to sneak in their evenings of rock n' roll and elicit cigarettes that keeps me coming back for more. 


The Fickle Femme: Confessions of My Multiple, Film-Inspired Personalities
I believe that the root of my problem can be identified in my childhood, beginning with my first year on this planet as the shy, introverted little squirm that I was, continuing all the way through my childhood and into my adolescence. I believe that much of my psychological instability can be attributed to a slight withering of the brain due to lack of exposure to the juvenile limelight. Even those who spent no time on the stage, the playing field, or the concert hall (and these children are few and far between) generally put on a show or two in the privacy of their own homes or at least did a few sing-a-longs with their friends. Yet I had absolutely none of this, too emotionally delicate to even spend time with children my own age, much less to ask them for their attention while I pranced and crooned and twirled. Instead, I spent much of my time hidden behind a book or a television screen, far more comfortable quietly reliving the fabulous adventures of others than chancing my own embarrassment in the real world. From there I contracted my disease, which has been designated the Latin name identicus anonymiticus. Lacking any discernible personality of my own, I took on the identities of my favorite film and book characters. As a young girl, I spent a good amount of time as Harriet (the Spy, not Tubman) and even more as Arriety Clock of The Borrowers. As I grew older and my taste diversified, I alternately tried out Holly Golightly, Susan Vance, Miranda Priestly, and even Danny Zuko (really my lifelong aspiration has been to be a greaser but for some reason or another that's really never quite worked out for me). As I've grown older and been exposed to more and more, my affliction has only become more severe (some films like American Beauty being quite dangerous for a person such as I). Thus, several of my therapists have suggested the documentation of my fluctuations on an online blog so as to externalize the infiltrators and attempt to connect with some personality of my own.


Lanky hair, a skeletal form, copious eye makeup: no, it's not someone too high to care, it's a fashion concept. In the past few years, we have seen some of our favorite celebrities seemingly reduced to shadows of their former selves. The cherubic Olsen twins, freckle-faced Lindsay, little J. Humphrey. My peers have been bemoaning the fall of their childhood favorites. I, however, have really enjoyed the new look. Maybe its an interior battle against my inclinations toward granola and bike riding? Just as President Clinton declaimed "Heroin Chic" in the 1990s, I too cannot support "glamorized addiction." Yet, I must say I find it exciting when people begin to transform, moving further from something that resembles human form. Take ballerinas for example: were our rib cages really ever meant to show? were we meant to stand on tiptoe? But there's something glamorous about it. I sort of feel the same way about coked-out celebrities. It's hard to get hair that stringy or legs that wiry. And I feel there's an eerie beauty about it.


-Cleo